So, THAT'S how it ends?!

I don't know what to say. After all these years, I have finally had the opportunity to see the entire series of Beverly Hills, 90210 from beginning to end. There's an odd sense of accomplishment that comes with realizing you've wasted countless hours watching what happens with Brandon, Brenda, Kelly, Donna, Dylan, Steve, Andrea and David. Not to mention the people who came later like Valerie, Noah, Matt, Gina, Janet, Jesse, and all of Brandon & Steve's random girlfriends.

Once I reached the last season I got very excited about the finale because I KNEW it would be something spectacular. Sadly though, it wasn't... Donna and David get married with literally 1 episode of planning -- actually not even a full episode. At the beginning of the finale they were planning, and by the end they had this incredibly lavish affair complete with ERIC BENET and TAMIA as musical guests at the reception. Come on, not even David Silver has that kind of pull in Hollywood! I could go on and ON about the many outlandish things the writers of this show expected us to believe. Suspension of disbelief is one thing, but complete and utter disregard for your viewers' common sense is another.

So, off the top of my head I'm going to give you my most memorable "you've got to be kidding" 90210 moments. In no particular order. Ready? Okay!

1. Kelly's nose job. In the pilot Kelly tells Steve and her girlfriends that she got a nose job over the summer. If she were really going to go for it, she might have chosen an even less prominent nose, don't you think? You can't expect us to believe that. Are you KIDDING me?!
2. Brenda's instant success in London. Okay, so we all know Shannen Doherty left the show due to some irreconcilable differences with her cast mates or whatever. But don't you think the writers could have done a better job of writing her off in a way that was believable? Seriously, she goes to London for ONE SUMMER to study theatre and becomes so successful that she NEVER COMES BACK HOME, not even for Donna and David's wedding? Not to mention the fact that if it were that easy to make it in theatre then why the heck am I sitting here in FL writing this blog!! Broadway, here I come! Are you KIDDING me!!!
3. Donna's website launch. Now... this one hits close to home for me since I work in web design full-time. I could very easily include Donna's boutique success on here too (come on, she had one short-lived stint as a kids' clothing designer and suddenly she's Betsey Johnson?), but I decided her website success was even MORE of a slap in the face from the writers. What the heck kind of unknown fashion designer do you know that launches their website at 8pm on a WEEKEND with nothing but a LAUNCH PARTY at a NIGHT CLUB to market it, and within less than a week their online orders are skyrocketing?! Are you KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!
4. Brenda's fake French accent when she was dating Dean Cain's character. Enough said.
5. David's "hip hop" record deal. Okay, you might be Jewish but you're no Matisyahu for goodness sake! It's not that you don't have rhythm, but it might be a bit more convincing if you didn't sound like a slightly hipper version of Vanilla Ice meets Woody Allen. Are you.... kidding me!!
   
6. Dylan and his refusal to be happy, no matter what. Can you take a minute, breathe, and enjoy the world around you for just a second? Man, you have got to be the most unhappy person on a show I've ever seen! I refuse to believe that kind of attitude is real. Are you kidding me?
7. No one caught an STD. You'd think with all that sleeping around and sharing each other's love juices, SOMEBODY would have caught SOMETHING. I mean Valerie came close with the whole HIV scare, but she came out clean and then left the show soon after. But come on, it was the 90's, people were catching STD's all over the place! What, the precious, spoiled, over-privileged kids of 90210 were immune? Especially Steve. I think not! Are you kidding me????
8. Kelly's mother was a supermodel in her teens. Yeah... okay... whatever Jackie. And I'm Tina friggin' Turner.
9. These kids were young enough to be in high school. No matter how you dress them or how you make them talk, they are still TWENTY FIVE.
10. It's possible to be madly in love with someone, break up with them, and fall madly in love with someone else over the course of a few months. These were the lovin'est people I have ever seen. Especially Donna. She was ready to give her heart to every Tom Dick and Harry that came her way. Of course, that's about ALL she was willing to give them... until she and David sealed the deal on graduation night of course. Then after David, she was in love with Noah in like a week, and then David again, then Noah, then David. Seriously? Are you KIDDING me?

I could really go on... but I won't. And don't think my list makes me any less of a fan of the show. I watched it because it was AMAZING television. All the best friends and betrayal, the love, the hate, the drug addictions, the bottomless pockets of all the characters, the lies, the deceit... it's what made the show great. I can't wait to see what the future holds on the "new" version of 90210. Hope the new writers are just as cruel to us now as the originals!