AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGH!

WOW.

Am I really about to "say" this "out loud" for people to "hear?" I think I am. I just need to take a deep breath and get it off my chest or it will LITERALLY drive me insane.

Okay here goes...........

Hi, my name is Kim and I'm lonely. There, I said it! The truth has been released. I am admitting it to myself, and to the 3 people who read this blog! I CANNOT believe I just said that. But seriously, this crap is about to make me lose my mind. Why, do you ask? Well, I'll tell you:

1. Every time I turn around, an ex-flame (or just a close male friend) of mine is getting boo'ed up with someone. And no, it's not that I still have feelings for all of my exes, it's just that once I've been with someone it's just hard for me to see them happy if I'm still sitting here twiddling my thumbs waiting for something amazing to happen to ME. And then for the close male friends, it pisses me off because as soon as they commit to someone it's sayonara to all their opposite sex friends, including me.
   
2. About 90% of my friends are married or engaged. With the exception of a couple people, I really am having a hard time trying to count my SINGLE friends. Am I really at that age? The age where my friends are married and having kids? Wow, that's crazy because I was just at work today singing Weak by SWV like it was still 1990. I still remember a lot of my friends as they were when we were teenagers. Guess I'm in a time warp or something.
3. There is nothing to do in this retarded city for single people. If you're not a Disney freak (which I am really not), or a heavy partier (which again, I am really not), you are just screwed socially. And NOT in the good way! (Okay, that may have been a bit too risque for some of my more wholesome readers... sorry.) Aside from theme parks, clubs and restaurants, there is nothing in Orlando worth doing. And there's only so much eating out, drinking and dancing I care to do on a regular basis.
4. I am starting to not care about my appearance at work anymore. It's a vicious cycle. See, the longer I go without meeting someone interesting, the more discouraged I become, and lately when I get dressed in the morning I'll spend the first 20 minutes or so trying to do something with my unruly hair, and then I'll say "why bother, it's not like you're going to meet anyone today." It's true. I have these conversations with myself.
5. The people I am interested in dating......... and yes, they do exist.......... are at least 1,000 miles away from me. That really makes me sad. Do I have to resort to long-distance relationships just to have the kind of person in my life who is WORTHY of receiving all that I have to offer? Maybe. Or maybe it's time for me to get the heck out of O-town. Hmm...

These are some of the many thoughts that have been going through my mind lately. I'm not sure where these thoughts will land me or if I'll come to any decisions based on these thoughts, but right now they're in the process of totally consuming my brain. So yeah, if you have any insights or suggestions feel free to throw them my way. Otherwise, leave me alone and let me wallow in self-pity. Thank you.

Hodgepodge

There are lots of things to discuss. I have been bad with updating this lately.

First off, my grandmother passed away on August 26. I flew home for her funeral and I'm glad I did because being able to say a final goodbye turned out to be a good thing. It was great to see all my family, some of whom I hadn't seen in years. And I am just glad to have had the chance to be a part of her final earthly event... we will miss her, though. She was 90 and lived a full life surrounded by loved ones. But when it's your time, it's your time. Rest in peace, Grandma, and know that we all love and miss you.

Workout update: I am sad to report that my personal trainer is leaving Orlando and thus will no longer be training me. The funny thing is when he told me, I almost started crying. No joke, I had to fight back tears! It was at this moment I realized I am a complete idiot. :-) Now, if only I could get up the nerve to ask him for a picture together before he leaves... because for real, that kind of fine-ness must be preserved for all to enjoy.

Sunshine update: I'm down to just one sunflower seedling. She's steadily growing and I'm keeping a close watch on her. All I can say is, trying to grow mini sunflowers indoors is NOT easy. Keep your fingers crossed!