Am I really about to "say" this "out loud" for people to "hear?" I think I am. I just need to take a deep breath and get it off my chest or it will LITERALLY drive me insane.
Okay here goes...........
Hi, my name is Kim and I'm lonely. There, I said it! The truth has been released. I am admitting it to myself, and to the 3 people who read this blog! I CANNOT believe I just said that. But seriously, this crap is about to make me lose my mind. Why, do you ask? Well, I'll tell you:
- Every time I turn around, an ex-flame (or just a close male friend) of mine is getting boo'ed up with someone. And no, it's not that I still have feelings for all of my exes, it's just that once I've been with someone it's just hard for me to see them happy if I'm still sitting here twiddling my thumbs waiting for something amazing to happen to ME. And then for the close male friends, it pisses me off because as soon as they commit to someone it's sayonara to all their opposite sex friends, including me.
- About 90% of my friends are married or engaged. With the exception of a couple people, I really am having a hard time trying to count my SINGLE friends. Am I really at that age? The age where my friends are married and having kids? Wow, that's crazy because I was just at work today singing Weak by SWV like it was still 1990. I still remember a lot of my friends as they were when we were teenagers. Guess I'm in a time warp or something.
- There is nothing to do in this retarded city for single people. If you're not a Disney freak (which I am really not), or a heavy partier (which again, I am really not), you are just screwed socially. And NOT in the good way! (Okay, that may have been a bit too risque for some of my more wholesome readers... sorry.) Aside from theme parks, clubs and restaurants, there is nothing in Orlando worth doing. And there's only so much eating out, drinking and dancing I care to do on a regular basis.
- I am starting to not care about my appearance at work anymore. It's a vicious cycle. See, the longer I go without meeting someone interesting, the more discouraged I become, and lately when I get dressed in the morning I'll spend the first 20 minutes or so trying to do something with my unruly hair, and then I'll say "why bother, it's not like you're going to meet anyone today." It's true. I have these conversations with myself.
- The people I am interested in dating......... and yes, they do exist.......... are at least 1,000 miles away from me. That really makes me sad. Do I have to resort to long-distance relationships just to have the kind of person in my life who is WORTHY of receiving all that I have to offer? Maybe. Or maybe it's time for me to get the heck out of O-town. Hmm...
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4 comments:
Wow, so this pretty much sums up the way I've been feeling lately, too.
#1: Don't have too much to say about this one...I don't have too many exes out there, but I do have friends that disappear off the face of the planet when they happen to wind up in a relationship. Urg.
#2: HELL YEAH! I feel about 5-7 years behind everyone in the cycle of life...people are getting married and having babies and I'm still screwing around (much to the chagrin of some), looking for that someone special to fill the void. And, oh, is it a big, painful, hollow void.
#3: I concur, again. There really isn't much to do or really anyone here to meet. Going out is a waste of time and money...same shit, different day.
#4: This is why I thank the sweet baby Jesus that the two days I have to work a week I don't have to bother with the way I look...Disney costumes are good in SOME ways...and, oh, by the way, those days that I don't work, I wear pajamas out...that's how much I don't care anymore, either.
#5: Right now there's really only one person I would consider dating, and, alas, he also lives1,000 miles away...and who knows if the feelings are reciprocated or not...
Kim, we can get through this, I'm sure of it. As hard as it can get sometimes (that's what she said), life will come together at the most unsuspecting times...the hardest part is the waiting and uncertainty. I have faith that our Edward Cullen will find his way into our lives...someday.
Yeeeeeeeeeeah. You can have Edward, I'll take Jasper or Emmett. Or both! Bwahahaha...
Deal, but only if I can have Carlisle and Esme in that mix as well. And Rosalie. Done.
Okay, sounds good but I'll take Alice and Carlisle if we're being greedy.
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